Melbourne - woes of the old and infirm

We strolled (Bex hobbled) in to United Backpackers in Melbourne city centre around mid-afternoon with high hopes for the hostel, the online reviews raving about the place; I was somewhat perplexed from the off...

We'd stayed in all sorts of dives around Malaysia and Indonesia and I suppose the place was clean, but aside from that I couldn't work out what had got the gap year travelers so excited.  My online review reads a little some thing like this:

Pros:
Large clean bathrooms with great showers.
Great city centre location.
Helpful friendly staff.

Cons:
No one has ever used the showers; every dorm smells worse than any I've ever experienced before, horrifically so.
Ample kitchen area, food storage, dining and social area for about 15 people... In a hostel than houses ~400.
Zero privacy or quiet areas.

It wasn't even cheap!!

I must be getting old, like I said, the gap year kids seemed to be loving it - we had dinner (which involved washing up everything you needed before and after), drank a load of wine and crashed early; we wanted to get Bex to A&E before the Sunday morning rush....

We made a complete arse of the journey to the hospital.  The trams didn't really work out too well and Bex ended up walking a good 30mins more on her injured feet.  When we did arrive I'd expected the same as Broomfield A&E on a Sunday; a waiting room littered with Saturday night woes and early morning sports mishaps.  The place was basically empty.  Bex filled in some paperwork and was whizzed off straight away.

I watched the news, read my book and 45mins later Bex strolled back in, fitted out with a fetching new moon booty whilst clutching armfuls of pills and iodine bottles.

Our self diagnosis / fears had been spot on; hairline fracture of the fifth metatarsal and infection in the wounds on the other foot (from kicking the Manly ferry).  At least we now knew for certain the full extent of the injuries and that further treatment not required, "Just" 6-8 weeks rest.  This would be tricky.

We did some essential shopping and then spent the rest of this brief visit to Melbourne rehashing our plans; we were due to fly to Tasmania for two and a half weeks cycling the next morning...

 Retail therapy will cure all...

...as does $1 frozen Coke